Thankful Messes

I know we've all probably seen the viral post of the Mom who taped off her newly cleaned living room until Thanksgiving. She worked hard, got it all just how she wanted it, and this was her attempt to prevent her family from undoing all that hard work. Though the post was funny and while every mom can relate, because we have all been there, this mom totally missed the mark in her quest for the perfect Thanksgiving.

Today, as I cleaned my house, I spread an Autumn themed table cloth out across my husband's Grandmother's table and set our ceramic pumpkin with the big "A" in the center and stepped back. 

I thought of all the meals that have been eaten seated around this table, not just ours but the generations before us as well. I thought of the holidays of years past where the houses were filled to the roof with laughter and love.  I thought of how hard we moms and dads work to make things "perfect" and how I can honestly say I don't recall any of that work. 

I don't recall exactly how many hours I have spent cleaning my house in preparation for events, I know I have spent that time but there is no tally. I don't recall how much money I have spent making sure everything was just beautiful and picture perfect. Lord knows what that price tag is. 

Do you know what I recall? What came to me in a flood of happy memories as I spread that spotless table cloth out? I recall my children's laughter. I can see them at 3, at 7, at 12, and every age in between running like crazy people, tracking mud and legos all over my floors. I hear their giggles at corny jokes only little kids find hilarious, while liquid of some sort spews from them. I remember my Grandmother sneaking my kids sweets when she thought I wasn't looking. 

I thank God for every stain on the carpet, every smudge on the glass cabinet doors, every broken plate. I remember those moments now that our house is mostly silent.

Moms, as hard as it is, take down the off limits sign on the living room. Enjoy the spilled juice and the chaos. Table cloths are washable, carpet is cleanable, dishes are replaceable. Kids grow, life changes fast and before you know it, you'd give anything for one more chance to find hidden animal crackers in your couch. 

Be thankful this year for your mess makers, they are so much more of a blessing than you realize. 

When God Yells, You listen!

If the devil dances in empty pockets, he was having a ball in mine. I was empty. I had let issues, drama and others tear me down to nothing. I looked around and found myself surrounded by nothing but negative people & negative situations. I don't even know for sure when it started but there I was. Angry, bitter, hateful & just an unhappy person. That's not who I am but was surely who I had become. 

Sometimes in life, you have to take a step back and look very hard at yourself. You have to either like what you see or you need to change it. I chose the later option. 

Over the last year, life has pounded us like a fence post it seems and it just all became too much. I think the Good Lord was trying to tell me it was time to step back and gain some perspective. I refused to listen. Stress was everywhere, drama was a constant companion but I refused to listen. My health tanked. Acid reflux literally ate me alive from the inside out. My hair fell out in huge chunks yet, He kept trying to talk to me. I just kept ignoring Him.

He yelled at me.

Now I know without a doubt, that God has carried me through some hard times but to hear His voice was something I will never ever forget. Let me just assure you when God yells at you, you listen. 

Everyone was gone for the day. I was off work due to being sick. I had found out someone I considered a friend was anything but and they were causing the vast majority of the drama in my family with my kids. We needed money for more than one issue. I honestly couldn't complete a thought without another one popping up. I hit the shower thinking I needed to just get my day going. My mind was just all over the place. Then it happened.

God told me I had to get Satan out of my house. I said "uh ok" then another voice said "well that's just crazy no you don't", and I got scared. Y'all I'm talking, don't want to be home alone scared! It was all I could do not to run. But I didn't run, I listened. 

God said "GET SATAN OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NOW!"

There was ZERO denying what I had heard. I was commanded to clean house and I did. I kicked Satan and his presence out my life, the lives of my husband and children, and out of my house for good. I walked through every room in my home, shouting at him to leave this family alone we belonged to God and always will. I ended up in my carport with a feeling of victory I cannot describe. It came straight from God. I walked back into my house and the whole place felt different. I felt different. I felt His presence walking beside me. 

Satan had been working overtime trying to tear us apart and I let him. I let him take root in me without even realizing it but God knew. I let others negativity & bad attitudes cloud what I knew was true.  I let others actions towards my family cause me to grow angry and frustrated when I should have just handed the situation over to Him in the first place. Others are so unhappy with their own lives they can't handle those that are and will do or say anything, and I mean anything, to cause trouble. The old saying that misery loves company is true but I refuse to entertain that company anymore.

God said He wants better for me. He wants better for all of us. Even those who deny Him, those who pretend to know Him & those who think He could never love them. He loves us all, even when we lose focus and forget. We just have to be willing to listen to Him. 

I wish I could make the world feel the peace and joy I have held in my heart since the day God yelled at me. It's unreal. Trust Him to handle your conflicts. Seek His council on those you bring into your inner circle. He will always bring you what is best for you! 

I am back home these days being a wife and mom full time. I am truly happy for the first time in a long while. I am not stressed out. My acid reflux is pretty much gone, my hair has stopped falling out and I am waking up everyday with a joy in my heart I can't contain. 

Happy feels good y'all!

Sandy 

Ephesians 4:26 

Don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger give a foothold to the devil.

Proverbs 22:24-25

Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man thou shall not go, lest you learn his ways and get a snare to thy soul. 

Love, Legacies & Lost Jewelry

Just when you least expect it, something so tiny & long since forgotten makes your eyes start leaking tears. 

Now I didn't not know Hoss' sweet mother Cheryl, but she has been here all these years in little ways. 

Subtle, gentle reminders of her love for her family. In the recipes she passed on in her cookbooks, the China we eat holiday meals on, in the funny stories from her old friends who still think of her often, the twinkle in my husband's eyes when he laughs, the love in him for his family, that's all her. Always her. 

Today while going through boxes that have been in storage for ages, I found these two pieces. 

My thoughts went to her immediately and how I would hand these down to our coming granddaughter, Cher. Then my mind went to how much I know she would have loved being here to see her 1st great grand baby come into the world in October, who will be named Cheryl Lynn, after myself and my mother in law. Then my heart just broke. It broke for her. 

Cheryl was a blessing for everyone who knew her. She had to be the way people still speak so lovingly of her after 20 years. I've no doubt she left this world and went to Heaven but I still hurt for her. I hurt that she missed out on seeing her son happy and loved, on seeing our children grow into strong young people who, while drive us crazy some days, make us so proud. I'm sure she'd laugh at Hoss when he gets frustrated with them, reminding him of the things he put her through. 

I hurt for all the joy she missed. The moments with the kids she never got to experience. And now, she not here to claim her title as Great Grandma to baby Cheryl and those who, Lord willing, will come later. Now that I am going to be the Grandmother in this family, I can see how painful the knowledge that she would miss these things must have been for her. 

I don't know for sure what kind of Mawmaw I will be. I pray I am the grandmother I was blessed with and one like I have no doubt my mother in law would have been. I pray my grand babies will beg to be with us. I pray they will remember when us with love when we are gone. Mostly, I just pray Hoss and I are there to see them to adulthood. I prayed to see my children grow and now I find myself asking God for much more. 

Funny how a tiny little girl waving hello from an ultrasound can totally change what you want out of life. She's my world and she isn't even here yet. 

As I hang onto a necklace and an ID bracelet a little while longer, so my baby's baby can have them when she's older, I will be thinking of my mother in law. I hope I will be the Grandmother she wanted to be. 

Most importantly Cheryl, I promise your great granddaughter will know the amazing woman whose name she carries. Your son and I will make certain of that. 

Sandy 

This is the House Where Jack Lives

                                                 

35 or so years ago, this book was read to me as a child. 

My sister Shannon and I, to this day, can still recite this simple children's book word for word not having cracked it open since our childhood days. (We did it this morning, 150 miles apart over the phone...true story!) It was our favorite. Some things just stick with you, this book is one of those things. 

This is the House Where Jack Lives is a story about a little innocent boy named Jack, who, without realizing, it started a chain reaction of chaos that affected so many others in his building. You see, (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Jack just wanted to take a bath. He was enjoying his bubbles when he let the water spill over and drown the floor, causing the apartment below to leak from the ceiling. This leak caused the woman in 7A trouble because she was having a party and called for her cook, who tripped over the cat, who scared the maid, who dropped her dirty mop on the man washing the windows...well it just kind of snowballs from there, ending with some poor kid on the sidewalk getting whacked in the head with a pail! 

Why am writing about this book? Why is this book the one that stuck in my head all these years? Why is this book so important to me? Let me explain. 

While I personally found this book funny as a child, as an adult I find it painfully spot on as to how our lives go some times. How many times have we all watched some thing that seemed so simple grow into a huge issue? How many times have our actions caused trouble for others? How many times have we been caught up in drama caused by others? Daily, I would venture to guess. I know that's how things normally go for me. 

Some times what we think is a great idea, just what we need, turns out to be anything but. We also have a hard time seeing how something so tiny could possibly hurt anyone. Like Jack we think, its just a bath, right? 

The truth is, we hurt people every day. We get hurt every day. Some days we are a little boy in a bathtub on the top floor and other days we are the boy on the sidewalk getting smacked by a rouge pail!

I often wonder how Jack's mother handled his bath time antics. I imagine upon finding her son, in a tub full of uh oh, she reached and turned the faucet off first thing. I'm sure she got a hold of him and dried him off, then helped him clean his mess.  And I am quite sure she still loved her Jack in spite of his childhood foolishness! 

God does the same thing for us when we are neck deep in bad choices. He turns the faucet off. He picks us up and helps us fix our messes. If we ask Him for His help, we get it.  And He still loves us when we act foolishly. He also helps us up when someone else knocks us to the ground. He comforts us in times of trouble, self inflicted or otherwise. He loves us so much! 

2 Corinthians 1:10 tells us; He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.

Life is full of overflowing bathtubs, struggles, mean people, & just very bad days. God promises to be there through it all. I am so thankful for that promise. I cling to that promise every day y'all, every day! I am so grateful that when I'm a Jack or hurt by one, I'm still loved! 

Have a great weekend and go read a book! I think I'm gonna crack open Jack's story one more time...you know, just because I can!