My Old Friend

This week has been a really rough one for me and my family.  The first days back at school for my oldest 3 and a new adventure for my youngest 2 as we started homeschooling. My 34th birthday was Tuesday and it was a train wreck but my darling husband and children made it better as the evening went forward.

Tuesday, August 24, I lost the oldest friend I had. Her name was Donna Bankston and she was 38. When I was 3, Donna & her mother Dilcy moved into the apartment above the one shared by me, my sister, Shannon and our mother, Rita. Shannon and Donna were the same age and became as close as two friends could possibly be and remained that way for years to come. I was the tag along little sister but it was ok with Donna, she didn't mind.

Having Donna around was like having another sister, only this one was nice! LOL! Donna would stick up for me when Shannon was the typical mean older sister.  I wore Donna's hand-me- downs as well as my sisters, I played with discarded toys from Donna and it was Donna's momma, who got my 1st Cabbage Patch Kids for me! ( She got it at work for my mom to give me) Donna rescue Preston ( CPK's name...yes I still have him) from the evil clutches of my sister and return him to me when I thought Shannon had destroyed him.

The stories I can tell you about Donna as a kid. Man there is not enough time in the day! Somethings just stay with you, you know? Like the time Donna took an hour to chew a single green bean because she HATED them and you would have thought it was poison the way she carried on. She always had a flair for the dramatic. It was quite a site to see her acting like she was going to kill over if she had to swallow that green bean!

Or, the time she fell out of the window of her second floor bedroom!  Still not real sure just how that happened just know that Shannon and I were in our room which was right below Donna's and we saw something go past the window, only it went down instead of across. We jumped up and looked out and there was Donna laying on the ground looking up with this "how did I get here?" look! She was fine but she scared her momma, my momma, and the two of us beyond belief!

Shannon and Donna used to past notes when they were grounded back and forth through the bedroom windows with shoes strings they tied together. Could be that screen was loose from all the note passing but who knows? She did not learn from the first time because it happened again a few months later only this time we were all in her room. One minute she was sitting on the windowsill, the next minute she was gone! She did however perfect her landing!

The 3 of us did everything together. We walked to school together, got chased home by tornadoes together (yes that was an interesting day!), we went to church together, ate too many meals together to count, we were the 3 Amigos!  We even had matching blue jackets from our school! Somewhere I still have an old cassette that was made when Donna got Michael Jackson's Thriller Lp and we tried to record Shannon a copy by placing the tape recorder next to the record player. You can hear Donna and Shannon telling me to be quiet but that is all you can here.....they were so worried about me messing it up that they did it themselves!!! LOL!

As we got older and life happened, Shannon and Donna lost the connection they once shared but Donna and I remained in each others lives.  Her life revolved around her kids and making sure they had a better life. She worked so hard and endured so much hurt from people who did her wrong but she just kept going. Donna had pride and sometimes it stopped her from asking for help but she knew that if she needed me I would be there.

There were times when she had no food and I took her groceries. She had no lights, I helped pay the bill. I have helped her move a few times when life handed her yet another blow. She was grateful and if I had it to do over I would not change a thing. I only wish I could have done more. She knew I loved her and needed or wanted nothing in return, unlike so many others in her life.  She knew who loved her and her kids.

My only regret is that I moved to Texas and she moved to Kansas City and we didn't get to see each other again on this earth. We talked on the phone and on Facebook from time to time but it just isn't the same.  I have to believe that I will see her again.

I do not want to say goodbye but the time has come. God grant me the strength to be there for her children and her mother. I will miss you my old friend. I love you.

The Old Cowboy

One Sunday morning, an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn-out old hat and an equally worn, dog-eared Bible.


The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and fine jewelry. As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled by his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.


As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship in church." The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.


The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the cowboy and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"And what was his reply?" asked the preacher.


"Well, sir, God told me that he didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said he'd never been inside this church."

The Frazzled Female!

I started a new Bible study this week. It's called The Frazzled Female and it is by Cindy Wood. Something about this study stood out to me. I feel that I have become a Frazzled Female as of late and I know that my walk with the Lord has suffered because of it.

Life happens this is true, but I think that sometimes we as women forget that we are important to God too. He cares about us and our daily struggles as wives, mothers, daughters, & sisters. We need to all learn to tune into God and tune out the world when we get to feeling "frazzled". It's easy to get bogged down in the day to day and lose sight of what is really important. Our personal relationship with God.

As I work through this study I pray His wisdom will open my heart and lead me in the direction He wants me to go. I know He will.

Have a great week everyone! God bless!

Marching Bands, New Babies & Forgiveness..not neccesarily in that order!

Today I came to a realization about someone in our family that has hurt us deeply. The realization was that I have to forgive her. Her actions were horrible and hurtful beyond words but if God can forgive her who am I to not do the same?  She needs to know that inspite of her ways, we do love her.  I am not sure if Wes has gotten to the same point as I have about this but in time I know he will. (She really hurt him, I mean REALLY hurt him.)

As a result of this one person's actions our family has been split for over a year and I just learned we have a new baby in the family on that side. (Sweet babies, they remind us that all of us start out innocent and without malace in our hearts, just babies wanting to grow up!)  We would have welcomed this baby just like we have welcomed all the others had we known of her arrival and it breaks my heart to know that one person has made this not be possible.

So, I have been thinking and praying about this and I have realized that I need to forgive the child's grandmother and let it all go because holding on to the hurt is just, well, it's painful! I used to think that she was not worth my worry but the truth is she IS worth my worry because she is in need of the Lord working in her heart as well.  We all need that.

The good Lord knows we have always done right by our family and always will. This even means that we need to forgive those who have hurt us.  Forgiveness really isn't for the other person, it is for you.  Carrying harsh feelings will eat you alive and make you a bitter angry person and I refuse to be that person. I know God wants better for me that that.

So I have chosen, because forgiveness is a choice, to forgive her and pray that her life & the life of her children and grandchildren becomes all it can be and that it glorify God. 

You know, I feel better just typing this! God works in ways we can't even imagine doesn't he?

Well, I am off to get ready to go feed 40 (give or take a few) kids in the Franklin Parish High School Marching Band! I love these kids they are so dear to me! Gonna be a fun afternoon! I will be posting pics of Facebook later!

Have a blessed day and if you haven't already done so, give others the forgiveness you have been denying them as well as yourself. You will be amazed how much better you feel and how happy it will make you to know that you have done the right thing!

It's Raining, It's Pouring!

Thank you Lord for the rain!!! The temp has never been high and the rain has been a welcomed blessing! I'll take the thunder and lightening to get the rain!

We often take things like rain for granted don't we?  Back in Texas the 1st year I was there we went 9 months without a single drop of precipitation what so ever! Most folks here cannot understand that.

We gripe if the rain delays us or changes our plans but let us do without it and we will be squealing for it in record time!

Humans, we are a fickle bunch aren't we? We gripe about what we don't have them when we get it we grip its too much! What we seldom do is thank God for the little things like rain on a hot day, sunshine on a cold winter day, even the fact the we have the ability to enjoy either event in our lives. It's all His doing, not ours!

So lets be thankful, ok? Lets enjoy this rain that is flooding our streets right now because tomorrow it may be 110 and no relief in site!

Seat Belts Are Made Into Cars For A Reason!

Top 10 Excuses For Not Wearing A Seat Belt

1. I'm afraid of getting stuck in a crashed car. If you're not buckled up at the time of a crash, you're more likely to be killed or knocked unconscious and unable to get out of the car at all. I you are buckled up, you're more likely to stay in place and remain conscious, in control of the vehicle, and able to make smart decisions.



2. It irritates the skin on my neck or chest. Most newer vehicles have adjustable shoulder height positioners that let you to move the shoulder belt up or down for a more comfortable fit. In older cars, wear clothes with a higher neck to provide some extra padding. Store sell padded pieces to go around the belt as well.


3. It makes me feel restrained. That's what it's supposed to do. In a crash, it keeps you in your seat so you won't be thrown around or out of the vehicle where you're four times more likely to be killed than if you remain the car. Driver side seat belts are designed to allow free movement of the occupant until a crash occurs (or until you jam on your breaks!). The human body becomes a projectile in a crash if you aren't properly restrained. You can slam into a passenger and kill them even if they are buckled from the force of your body slamming into them.


4. I'm too large to wear a seat belt. It doesn't fit. You can purchase a seat belt extender, which can usually resolve this issue.

5. I can't look over my shoulder before turns. Yes, you can. A seat belt doesn't restrain your head; it restrains your chest.

6. I forgot. Most cars have annoying seat belt reminder systems that beep every minute or so when the seat belt isn't buckled. Did you remember to wear clothes today? It's a learned habit, just like everything else.


7. Nobody tells me what to do in my car. States have many traffic laws that mandate what people can or cannot do. It's illegal to drive drunk; it's illegal to speed; and it's illegal to drive or ride without a seat belt. It is still illegal even if nothing happens or you don't get caught! Illegal means against the law...period!






8. I have an air bag. I don't need a seat belt. Air bags are designed to work in conjunction with seat belts, not as a restraint system alone. They are not soft cushy pillows. They deploy at approximately 250 miles an hour (the blink of an eye) and begin to deflate immediately after deployment. If you're not buckled up, you will land in the air bag. Since it starts to deflate immediately, you will still be at risk for crashing into the steering column or through the windshield.






9.   can't wear a seat belt because I can't feed my baby with it on. If you're driving, your eyes should be on the road. If you're trying to feed your baby in the backseat, you can't possibly be focusing your attention on the road and you are risking both of your lives. If you're a passenger and need to feed your baby a bottle, sit in the back seat with the baby. Both of you should be properly restrained. Nursing mothers should never feed a baby while the vehicle is moving. If someone crashes into your car, the laws of physics will make it impossible for you to hold onto your baby. Pull over to a safe location to nurse.






10. I have a medical condition. I can't wear it. This can be a valid excuse, but only if you have a written medical note from your doctor. Carry it in your purse or wallet so it remains with you if you are a passenger in someone else's vehicle.



Ok so now that we have all run through our excuses lets get down to brass tacks here.  Seat belts save lives...PERIOD! Yes there are cases of people that have survived crashed and not had them on but they sustained injuries that were preventable, some that were lasting injuries.

I cannot explain how strongly this issues weighs on my heart. As the mother of 5, I have no clue how parents can allow their children to ride unsecured in cars, children they love, children they prayed for and struggled to get! Smart people, loving people everyday make the mistake of not making their loved ones buckle up and sadly, tragedy strikes.

I know here and in the last town I lived in it is a common site to see people driving without seatbelts and their babies in their lap as they drive or just standing up in the seat next to them.  If they had even the smallest fender bender at say 20 miles an hour, that innocent child, who depends on it's parents to protect it, will be thrown into or out of the windshield or into the steering wheel. Can you live with that kind of guilt? Knowing your disregard for the law hurt or God forbid killed your child? You child is hurt because you were to lazy, yes I said it...lazy, to ensure their safety?  No I don't think any of us could. I cannot imagine. Can you imagine the guilt if it was someone elses child you got hurt?

Children are a gift from God people! They are given to us to love and protect yet lots of us fail them daily by not teaching them to simply click a seatbelt every time they get in a car. It's not right!

Think of it this way, what kind of example are you setting for your child. Do you want your child to ignore laws? Do you want them to break into houses and stealing? No!

But we need to understand that we are teaching our children to break the law every time we do not make them buckle up or make them stay in that car seat no matter how much they scream!

It is ILLEGAL...I repeat ILLEGAL....to be in a moving vehicle without being buckled!!!  ILLEGAL!!!!!! Every time we do not buckle ourselves or our children we break the law, even if we do not get caught we are still breaking the law! If you steal something and never get caught does that mean it is no longer a crime? No it is still a crime and breaking the law, any law, is a crime.

My children have had to stand up for themselves with other adults on this subject and I could not be prouder! They know they are not allowed to ride without a seatbelt, no excuses. If there is not room for everyone then they do not go. Their life is so worth the price of a couple of gallons of gas to go get them.  They had to stand up to someone they love dearly and that person was not very nice to them about it at the time but they stood firm and did what was right!

Yes, I guess I am on a soap box today about this but until you walk by a child's coffin or hear that child's mother scream their name in the hospital waiting room after the doctor's tell her child is gone, then you cannot possibly understand the impact that not buckling up can have on a life , the one it takes and the ones it leaves behind. I have seen it more times than I ever care to and pray to never see it again.

People please, just secure your children. Secure yourself in your cars too.  You are all SO important and every life is precious. Teach your children this is a point of no contention. You buckle or you don't go. Every child that goes anywhere with me knows that in Ms. Sandy's ride, you have to be buckled at all times. Even if their parents don't make them, they know it is a rule in my car and they do not even whimper a fuss about it! Because they KNOW they have no options!

 We all need to do this because that next fatal crash could be one of us.

 

Giving It All Away!

Over the last 2 weeks, the kids and I have been going through our things. With 7 people in this house you can imagine the clutter that can be accumulated in a short time! We have cleaned out a shed, gone through closets and dressers and even old toys that have long been forgotten.

We wanted to yard sale but every time we have tried, something has happened to prevent it. The more I have gone through this, I have felt that we needed to just let it all go. No sale, just give it away. So after much back and forth, we are giving it all away!

God has provided every need we have ever had exactly when we have needed it.  There is someone out there is in need of our extras and the Lord knows just who that person is. He has provided for us and now He will use us to provide for someone else. Kind of neat how He works, I think!

It is always easy to say well, we could use the money from the sale of all this stuff. What's harder is realizing that sometimes your biggest blessings come from what you let go of rather than what you gain. Money isn't everything now is it?

I guess it's like the saying I have always told my kids.."Love isn't love until you give it away."  Giving is love, love for others, love for God, even love for yourself.

If everyone gave a little of themselves to just one person, think of how much better this world would be.  Jesus gave everything He had for all of us. He died for every "one person" in this world. Sacrificing a some yard sale cash to help others is NOTHING compared to the sacrifice that Jesus made for you and me. Think about it...............